also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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