just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
