i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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