If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
