that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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