Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
