hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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