Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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