We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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