I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
