me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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