...so i touched it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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