How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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