your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
