just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
