So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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