He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
