His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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