I don't usually arrange sex via text message
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
