literally had 100 drinks last night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize