I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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