just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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