The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize