WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize