Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
