She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
