Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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