i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
