we have officially lost it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize