That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize