are you still at the devil's house?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
