Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
