i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
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Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
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