my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A+ Viking dick
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize