Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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