I am in a vortex of obligation.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
