yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize