I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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