we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i've created a new STD.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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