I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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