bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
