that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
