well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I party with great urgency now.
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