I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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