He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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