Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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