nut hugger
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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