is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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