return my video game
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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