even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
