I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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