if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
