New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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