At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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